Guest blogger Cathy has shared with us her struggles to come to terms with a traumatic childhood. She has detailed for us her attempts to find a therapy that would ease her terror and clear her foggy brain. Neurofeedback has proved effective for Cathy. In this letter to her therapists, Cathy describes what it feels like to be healing.
Hi Jessica and Martin,
Today my husband had a day off work and we spent the day fishing together out on our boat on Moreton Bay.
It was a really nice day
I noticed that I was different.
I noticed that was more aware, more alert and more proactive, I was more helpful and more effective in working with my husband on our boat. I was less vague and my attention and focus were more available to me and to my husband.
I noticed that I had more self awareness and more choices.
I felt calmer, more in control and less chaotic than usual.
I felt as though my terror dropped from a 10/10 to an 8/10. I felt as though I could see ‘around’ my internal mass of terror (ie. my terror was present but contained in a way that it felt manageable to me, not overwhelming or completely consuming as it has felt to me so often in the past).
I felt as though I could see the edge of my terror (like the horizon or the mainland or an island off in the distance, rather than a vast blank sea of helplessness).
My experience today was a really exciting step forward for me. I feel as though today, I grasped a glimpse of how different my life could be with less terror, more calm and a healthy level of control and organisation.
Then I had a multitude of entrepreneurial ideas ‘bubble’ up to my surface. This was an exciting, inspiring and encouraging experience.
Today was great! I’m really thrilled!!
I’m really looking forward to experiencing more steps forward.
Hope that you are both having a good holiday.
Have you had a similar experience? Is there something you wish to tell Cathy and others dealing with trauma? Please comment below.