Contest: Name My Website!

Aging and Taking Charge of Your Life: that’s the current title of my webpage. I chose those words when I was leaving my marriage of 54 ½ years. Determining my own path and living the life I wanted loomed large in my mind. Clearly I was determined to take charge of my life.

A year and a half has gone by since I struck out on my own. I’ve faced many challenges I’d never have tackled as a married woman. Deciding where to live and signing a lease, negotiating a loan for a new car, dealing with the bank and making major decisions. All of these were shared tasks when I was married. As a single person, there is no partner to help carry out the chores and decisions of normal adult life.

Interestingly, the title Aging and Staying in Charge of My Life no longer feels meaningful. I’ve changed. That’s why I need a new title. I am no longer of the opinion that taking charge is right for me. In fact, my current life path teaches me not to wish things were different from what they are. “Things are what they are,” goes the wisdom. We are part of an energy that pervades all beings and all life. It’s not our place to decide what should happen. Trying to order our world so as not to stir our innate fear of living makes no sense. What we need to change is what’s inside us: and this happens by relaxing, not by striving.

My awakened awareness came last winter when I visited San Miguel de Allende in Mexico. Naturally, I headed for the local yoga centre where they were offering meditation classes. I signed up and headed for a comfortable couch in a circle of a dozen other meditators. The particular practice was called Non-Dual Meditation. Listening to the lectures, I found myself taken back to a very old place where I’d been when I was in my 30’s and Swami Radha was my spiritual teacher. These were her teachings, but this time I was listening with the ears, heart and life experience of an older woman. This was exciting!

Non-Dual Meditation reflects the findings of Quantum Physics. (Nothing is fixed and solid, including us humans. We are all connected through the same universal energy.) Insights and ideas scrambled furiously in my brain and in my memory. My fellow Unitarian Universalists refer to “the interconnectedness” of all beings. Eugene Gendlin describes Focusing’s felt sense as: Your physically felt body is part of a gigantic system of here and other places, now and other times, you and other people – in fact the whole universe. This sense of being bodily alive in a vast system is your body as it is felt from the inside.

All my beliefs, understandings and practices were coming together in this whole new path. I was excited!

Image result for the untethered soul michael singerSince returning home to Canada, The Untethered Soul: the journey beyond yourself by Michael A. Singer has guided me in this new stage of my journey. It is a straight forward guide to living life more fully through mindfulness and letting go of self-consciousness. I’ll tell you more about this in future posts.

Meanwhile, I’ll make you an offer. Whoever sends me the winning title for my webpage will receive – free – a copy of this remarkable book. I’m looking forward to your suggestions and, as always your comments on what I’ve written.


  1. Debbie Daigle says:

    Hi Mary,
    I accidently found your website about 2 years ago and I have followed your letter ever since. I am 71, retired nurse and divorced. Everything you write about I can identify with. In this letter you start with the title “Aging and TAKING charge of my life”‘ then further down you say “Aging and STAYING in charge of my life”. I think you unconsciously changed to the title that is applicable now. You already “Took charge of your life”‘ now you want to “Stay in charge of your life”. Aging is happening no matter what. My work life certainly taught me that life can change in the blink of an eye. I am now learning, from my older friends, that STAYING in charge of the life you have is a process that requires equal attention and orchestration. Keep writing.

    • Mary Armstrong says:

      Thank you for letting me know that my website is meaningful to you. Hearing from people like you makes it all worthwhile. I’m about to post an article about a woman who blossomed after divorce.

  2. Sheila Simmons says:

    Suggested Title for Website:

    “Memoirs of a Focused Aging Soul”

    Good luck to you Mary.

  3. Shirley Turcotte says:

    ..Possibly, if I ever had a web site, I would name it. Serving Time..From an Aboriginal perspective..serving…is a great honour…Women ..Care takers through time..and it is such and interesting play on worlds…and many cultural complexities..I just love that title.. not a fit for you though..maybe something like ….Call Me Willow…I could see that for you..dancing in the wind so elegantly..ancient and in flux with life around you

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