There’s No Such Thing as a Bystander

  • Anyone witnessing or knowing of child abuse is forced to take sides. You’re on one side or the other. There is no such thing as a bystander.
  • All the perpetrator asks is that we look the other way and do nothing.
  • If we “see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil” we help the perpetrator.
  • The victim, on the other hand, needs much more. The victim needs us to get involved, to feel the pain and disgust, to take action.

Judith Herman, in her classic book on psychological trauma, Trauma and Recovery, explains that the perpetrator will do everything possible to discredit the victim. The perpetrator thrives in an environment where people still can’t believe such crimes happen to children.

That’s why we have to keep telling our stories. We need to be brave enough to inform those that claim such things don’t happen  ….. that Joe Smith wouldn’t do such a thing…. that one if four girls and one in six males is sexually abused before the age of eighteen.

What can YOU do to help the victim, not the perpetrator?

Please leave your comments below.

Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery, Harper Collins, Basic Books, New York, 1992

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