Archive for April 18, 2012

Good at Looking Good

Those of us who are adult survivors of child sexual abuse are good at looking good. After all, we’ve kept a terrible secret throughout our childhood and often into adulthood. We’ve learned to appear untroubled and unshakable. No one must guess how shaky we feel inside.

Writer Shelley Wildgen realized this when she wrote about a woman she’d known for many years. Shelley calls her Charlotte: Read more

A Reader Asks: Which to do First – EMDR or Focusing?

I received this very interesting question and thought that you too might benefit from the answer.

Dear Mary,

I use to be a PTSD therapist, but I left the field many years ago. I’ve decided to come back to the field (after 16 years), but I want and need to do some training. I’ve been looking at Focusing and EMDR, would you have a recommendation of which one I should start with? I’ve doing a lot of research in these areas, but I’m feeling confused (I’m trying to get enough info. about both areas to make an educated decision). Would both (focus/emdr) benefit me? Do you use one more than the other (maybe they just hand-in-hand)? If I worked with a different population do you think both would be helpful? I greatly appreciate your time and help.

Thank you for your time, Elisheva Rabinowitz Read more

Complex Feelings

When I wrote Confessions of a Trauma Therapist I was filled with anger for my mother. She was the adult who hadn’t protected me when I was a helpless child being sexually abused by my father and his father. I didn’t feel nearly as angry with the perpetrators.

Rage for those who failed to protect us when we were vulnerable children is a common response. I know it’s usual to feel this for the non-abusing parent. I’m told that Roman Catholic and Anglican victims of child sexual abuse by priests generally are angrier with the bishops who were in charge than with the parish priests who actually abused them. Read more