Finding Your Authentic Self Through Your Inner Child

Recently I’ve become a grandmother. I spend hours just gazing in wonder at my tiny granddaughter. I am enthralled by her yawns, her tiny mouth searching for food, her eyes fastening intently on my face.

What strikes me is that she is entirely authentic. She has no thought of wanting to do the right thing or avoid offending me. It doesn’t occur to her to shape herself to fit our family.

I think about authenticity. We are all born authentic.  How, then, do we lose our connection to whatever is uniquely right for us:  for whatever our organism wants and needs?  Perhaps it’s because we need to fit in and we need to be loved. In my own life, I needed to forget what would prevent me from a secure sense of belonging in my family. I idealized my family and had no idea that I’d been used as a sexual object. The abuse happened to my inner child and had nothing to do with me.

Your inner child holds your wisdom. It holds your joy and creativity. It also knows what blocks you from being all you could be. It may be like mine and hold whatever personal history is too painful. Whatever the case, getting on friendly terms with your inner child will  lead you to a more authentic way of being.


  1. I am also learning to befriend my inner child who holds my creativity, joy, and sexual abuse memories. I wonder if you are familiar with the Internal Family Systems model by Richard Schwartz. It has been quite helpful for me on that score.

    I have spent 3 decades doing healing work with some wonderful resources and now am a life coach and spiritual director specializing in transforming trauma into thriving lives. I enjoy your facebook page and blogs!

    I hope you enjoy your sweet new grandbaby! Happy 2012


  2. It’s so wonderful when we use our traumatic childhood experiences to help others.

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