When Father Came Marching Home

Here is another excerpt from my book about father-daughter incest:

“In 1945 when I was seven, the war ended and the men came home. What a strange time for the world. It was an era of post-traumatic stress disorders from the horrors of war. And for many it was a time of marital stress from too many years of living separate lives.

I don’t know how my parents’ marriage would have been different if it hadn’t been interrupted by the war. And I don’t know if my father would have relied less on rye and Coke to face his world. He had always been a party boy, but after the war he was seldom sober.

Each time he returned home during the war years I had initially been scared of him. He was huge. He could lift me up with one hand. Mostly I remember his smell. It was different from anyone else’s: a nose-tingling blend of the rough khaki wool of his scratchy uniform, the whiskey on his breath and the ever-present Export A in his mouth.

Once he had been with us for a day or two, my shyness faded and I delighted in climbing into his giant lap.

When he returned home for good I experienced a strange mixture of fear and intense love. I wanted to be with him as much as possible. The most important thing in my young life was keeping Daddy happy.

Many years later, I learned he had another woman in England and that my role in the family, as my mother saw it, was to keep him home with us in Canada.

I grew up believing I was very fortunate to be my father’s companion. I thought I was lucky to go off camping with him, just the two of us.”

One comment

  1. Miguel says:

    October 11, 2012This is amazading! So inspirading to read. I will bookadmark this page and come back to it when I begin my EMDR. I am tryading not to hype up to it and add presadsure as it will be some weeks away. To know that you are doing everyadthing you can to get betadter, that means it will work. I have every faith in you and keep writading, sharading, rnimedading, and inspirading — it will bounce back and inspire youradself and rnimed youradself why you are sitadting there with the pain. Because it is time to no longer have it as such a deep part of your life. To read about the grass being greener was such a touchading line, and someadthing I will hold with me. So thank you dear. And keep up the amazading work. You are an inspiadraadtion. To youradself and all of us here.a0X

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