TRUST is a big issue for anyone who suffered child abuse. Survivors tend to fall into two categories: those who trust everybody and those who trust nobody. When you think about it, neither style represents true trust.
It’s no wonder trust is a big issue for those of us who were neglected or abused as children. When we were vulnerable and helpless, the very adults who were supposed to be looking after us, betrayed us. Lacking models of trustworthy people, we never learned who was safe to trust.
What is real trust and how do you know somebody’s trustworthy? This is important to learn. If you didn’t learn it as a small child, you can get the hang of it as an adult. To discover whether you can trust someone, you need to observe people over time. Observing a person in many different situations gradually lets you know how he or she treats others. Is this a person who tells lies in order to get his way or cheats when she thinks she won’t get caught? Does this person recognize and respect others’ feelings? Does he or she remain loyal to friends? Check it out. Be an astute observer.
My next post will be about survivors and relationships.